How to write your first contact message on a dating site?

Get the best results from your sent messages: The purpose of the first message is simply to send you a message back, once she has done so, you are no longer, for her, a member like other. You would have taken a step towards the knowledge of this woman.


Points to consider:

  • It’s up to you as a man to take the first step. Women hardly do it!
  • Your mission is to be unique and fun unlike other men who send him messages of the style: “” “” slt “”, “” “” bjr “” “. Do not compete with other men by doing what they do; be different, unique. Do not be ashamed to be yourself! You will then have the best chance to get his phone number and meet him.
  • In fact, pay attention to what you write, women are smart and are more socially aware, and realize it easily if you cut and pasted a message, it’s like a sixth sense! So do not write nonsense thinking that’s what she wants to hear. Be honest, unique and stay yourself. Never say something obvious about his profile such as “oh, I saw you have a cat, very beautiful” – yes, it happens! If you can not add value to the conversation, then abstain, do not say anything at random. It makes you unique, and being unique has more value.
  • Send messages to new members first and as quickly as possible; they will answer. The more time they spend on the site, the more they miss messages.
  • Only sent messages to newly connected women. If she reconnects, she will see a lot of messages.
  • Women are naturally defensive against men who tire them. The key is to create trust and at the same time be his friend. Indeed, if you do not act differently, women will block you.
  • Look like an important man, (do not do it arrogantly, do it in a relaxed way, and do not be too serious.)
  • Do not write an essay on your first post, it will not read it unless you are an award-winning editor for a national newspaper or magazine.
  • Make the message as short as possible, 2-3 paragraphs or 10-15 lines. Nor more, otherwise you will be needy.
  • Check your spelling! Do not forget it. If you send a message with spelling errors, you will blow it with that! No class woman will talk to you if you can not even write a few simple words. It’s a little lazy to their taste, and who wants a lazy man?
  • Women respond the most to your messages when they connect and send them to you at that moment.
  • Used only positive words. Never negative words.
  • Avoid women with preconceived ideas: She: ‘I want a blond man with blue eyes and who is a surgeon.’ These women are a waste of time and they usually do not respond to you. They tend to be needy, and these kinds of women will cause you trouble.


Man sends a message to a woman

Some mistakes

– Do not “cut and paste” the same message to a dozen women right away.

– Do not pet women with a lot of messages. If she does not answer after your second message, forget it; there are others on the site.

– Never act differently or change your message or behavior for extremely attractive women, treat all women of the same kind and keep your cool.

– Talking to them as you talk to your friends does not help things; it’s one of the biggest mistakes men make. She’s a woman, not a man, so go to her like a gentleman.

– Avoid messages that speak of the marital status of ‘separated’, that means married or separated from his EX! Unless you are in the same position, I would recommend that you look for someone in the same marital class as you – it makes things easier. But of course, it’s just your choice, do what you feel good for you.

– Using emoticons is a tricky subject: just use an emoticon when she’s joking. Never use emoticons with a woman over 30 is an immature act.

– Do not try to brag at the first message when talking about your car or boat, etc. The first message should be simple, it will click on your profile anyway and this is where the work is done. ( See article create an attractive profile )

Some things you can do in your first message


– Put your real name at the end of the message to create a connection, never use a nickname. You can make your nickname appear another time.

– Enter his reality by showing him that you know how many men send him messages and tell him how frustrating and difficult it is. It creates a bridge to her and it proves to her that you are socially conscious (unlike 99% of the other guys on the site.)

Points to remember

1.Task it on something in his profile.

2. Ask him to open up to you on something of his own.

3. Check your spelling and grammar.

4. Do not talk about sex or a similar subject.

5. Always look at your profile to get as much information as possible.

6. Always appear without threat; do not be abrupt.

7. Do not tell all about yourself on the first message. Women like to talk about them; ask him questions about them and interest her.

8. Be very mysterious when you talk about yourself, you do not have to give him a lot of information; you must remain mysterious and intriguing.

Layout of message – number 1

1. Start with a simple opening line.

2. Write something that you like about his profile.

3. Tease her a little.

4. Let her open to you.

5. Talk a little about yourself.

6. Your name (no nicknames!).

Layout of message – number 2

1. Mention something about her that interests you

Article recommended: How to see a man is in love?

2. Mention her hobby and ask her a question

3. Sign with your name Now put yourself in the place of a woman you send a message and ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you like what we wrote to you?
  • Did he make you laugh?
  • Did he make you want to answer?
  • Do you like the look of his profile?
  • Are his pictures good / appropriate?

If you do not answer yes to all these questions then one tip: sending this message would be a waste of time.